How to curb the urge to control
I am going to be very blunt, are you a “control freak”? I spoke with two people last week, one who admitted to being a control freak and the other one I sort of said was a control freak. As Dr. Phil would say, “How’s that going for you?” Both know that being a control freak is not good for them or the people around them. And yet, they persist.
Always having to be in control can also lead to overwhelm. Either having to do everything yourself or check everything after someone else has done it is simply too much work for any one person, especially when you are trying to grow a business. And having to keep everything in mind is so taxing.
A very close cousin of “control freak” is perfectionism. As long as you are in control, everything has to be perfect.
The way to save a lot of wasted energy is to give it up but, of course, that is easier said than done. So how can we change from being a control freak to someone who trusts others? Mindfulness!
I know it sounds a bit simplistic but it does work. Mindfulness works best on areas where our rational mind disengages from our emotional mind. We know the right thing to do but we keep doing the other thing. Mindfulness is being present to what is gong on in our head and body. When we know the right thing to do, we are more likely to stay on track if we are being mindful. And the best way to stay mindful is practice, practice, practice.
So the next time someone offers to help, you just might say “Yes”. The next time you are preparing something and it isn’t perfect, let it go. And practice some self-compassion and self-love. And congratulate yourself for letting go a little bit.
In the end you will be happier and much more productive. And more productive, of course, means more work gets done.
Think about how much that extra work is worth to you!
©2023 by Shaya Kass, PhD
You can reach Dr. Shaya Kass at Shaya@MindfulAboutLife.com or at 1-800-544-0559
This newsletter is published by Dr. Shaya Kass and is meant for informational purposes only. Photo by Sivani Bandaru on Unsplash